their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Less talking, more tequila
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
