Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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