Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
