Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
