so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
