What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
