dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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