then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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