Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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