id be glad to
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
