Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
