I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize