I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
