she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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