I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
