Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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