too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
