I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
