its not stalking. its research.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
