I need help removing her.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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