we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
