The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
