Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
