so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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