I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Vodka?
Forever.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
