my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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