Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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