Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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