thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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