and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
