So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
