Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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