You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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