I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
