Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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