I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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