Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
