In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
