my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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