He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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