worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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