I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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