On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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