Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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