Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
