Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
