i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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