Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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