My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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