You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There's always time for handjobs
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize