The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am available for nakedness
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
