Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dear god my vagina.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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