I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize