haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he just fucked me for my cheese..
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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