Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
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I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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