thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
