Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
