if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
