you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
