We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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