I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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