normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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