So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
