I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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