We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
